This could be a matter of, “I know you like comic books, so here’s the Iron Man movie!” I hate Iron Man though, he’s a government mark, occasional alcoholic and a complete tool. The only way that I relate to him as a character is as a nemesis. He sucks balls - or ball bearings as the case may be. It's not without some effort on the gift-giver's part, they did sort of try, but it's still off-the-mark. For instance, to most people who know me know I like Batman, and they'd think I like The Dark Knight movie -- but what they're not taking into account is that to me EVERY important aspect of two of my favorite characters was complete ignored, skewed, flawed, misrepresented or changed.
A more-relatable example would be, “Hi, I got you this book about depression-era Irish kids living in Tulsa because I know you like to read.” There are like SO many things wrong with that I don’t know where to begin. And this is why I return so many gifts for store credit, and/or Craiglist, and/or donate, and/or throw away.
Too, there are the gifts people think you SHOULD like.
I once got the Tom Brokaw book The Greatest Generation from an older aunt. This is a “teach you a lesson / propaganda” gift. I don’t like history, I don’t like the news, I don’t like war, I don’t like old people, and I damn well don’t like Tom Brokaw. This is an agenda gift, which I’m supposed to invest valuable time reading, and decide that all the people from that generation are awesomer than I (or anyone of my or future generations) could ever be. NOT going to happen. Fuck you, you shitty aunt, and fuck Tom Brokaw for popularizing a short-sighted and arrogant title. Douchebag.
The Greatest Generation may be the world's Worst Gift. (tm)
So that brings us to a close for the year, and I hope we've all learned something. Perhaps it's that a good gift can be made bad by the giver's modifications. Perhaps it's that you should do more research and less presuming. Perhaps it's that my one aunt is really really shitty. Whatever the case, please know that at the core of all my venomous humor (or humorous venom) is the honest desire that people enjoy their holidays as well as they can, with or without gifts, regardless of their quality or existence at alll... however, while I know it takes a good deal of diligence, it's also my belief that it's more easy to enjoy the holidays without falling victim to the ever-looming BAD GIFT IDEAS that surround us all, both as gift-givers and recipients.
Feel free to direct any and all bad gift givers (and bad gift stories of your own) to this website.
Happy Holidays!
And remember, with just a little research, planning, foresight, and plain being honest with yourself, you can avoid having any gift you give end up showing up on some blog like BAD GIFT IDEAS.
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