Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Bad Gift Idea #4: Cologne / Perfume / Toiletries

There is nothing like goods a person uses in the bathroom to say "Happy Holidays." Oh wait, I meant "Crappy Holidays." Yeah, that's it.

Firstly, with many such items there's the obvious insinuation that the recipient smells bad. If instilling self-doubt is your gift-giving goal, then by all means proceed as originally planned.

Scent is a personalized choice.

When a faraway relative reasons to themselves with, "It's been ten years since I've seen him, so he's about 14 now and he probably likes girls, so I guess he'd like Nike Sport maybe?" it's the beginning of the end of that poor bastard getting a non-insulting gift.

In thoughtful gift-giving, "guesses" are to be discouraged, as is their polished-up cousin "surprises."

See, nothing about me says "Nike" or "Sport." Plus, half the time these are sample sizes, multi-packs and/or "free gift with purchase" packs.



If your giftee is expected to send a thank you card, I hope it says, "Thanks for caring enough to send something you got for free and didn't want yourself - you stupid dick."

Preferred Stock cologne is not what preferred men prefer. Just another sign this is a BAD GIFT IDEA.

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